11th Silent Library

・Streaming / Download on MEGA: 11th Silent Library
・Streaming on VK: 11th Silent Library

And here we are again, Kedomas did it again. And we’re not even done! Big shoutouts to him as usual, if it wasn’t for him, there would be barely any content on this website (as of lately). Thank you so much!!
Silent Library. Do we really need to explain it? It’s a Gaki classic, the classic between the classics. This is the latest episode, and if I’m not wrong it doesn’t even have a number, being included in a 2-hours Gaki no Tsukai special.
I’ve already subbed the previous episode from it few years ago, and it’s always a pleasure to work on these. One of my favorite series and among the ones which introduced me to Gaki, I simply love it.
On today’s episode our main cast is joined by Ryota Katayose, actor and singer from the boy band Generations from Exile Tribe.
I’ll leave few notes here, and I hope you’re gonna enjoy this episode!


– A kendama is… well, that thing. It’s usually a toy, though (not something to smack people’s foreheads with). It’s a japanese wooden toy shaped like a small hammer with a wired ball tied to it, you play by trying to balance the ball on top (or sides) of it. Here.
– Shabu-shabu is a Japanese hotpot dish of thinly sliced meat and vegetables boiled in water and served with dipping sauces (Wikipedia). It’s usually served raw and stirred by the guests in a cooking pot. The slice of meat you see in this episode is the exact same cut a shabu-shabu piece of meat would have.
– Maybe it’s weird to me (‘cause english isn’t my mother tongue), but let me explain the word “mixer” at 22:30. The japanese word for it is “goukon”, and it’s used for small parties made of mixed groups of boys and girls who usually don’t know each other. They usually play games for couples in said mixers, that’s why they do what they’re doing in this episode. Wow, these notes are useless.

And that’s it for this week, but stay tuned. Me and Kedomas are not done yet! Another episode is going to be online soon, but shh! Keep quiet.


Special episode, aired 2019/03/31

Itao’s Guerrilla Shichi-henge

・Streaming / Download on MEGA: Itao’s Guerrilla Shichi-Henge
・Streaming on VK: Itao’s Guerrilla Shichi-Henge

This is the first episode on this wordpress that has not been translated (at least not entirely) by me, you gotta also thank WA for this! You can check out his website here: Shappuri Agemasu Subs.
Today’s episode is a classic one, a shichi-henge-wannabe skit featuring Itao Itsuji, one of my favorite recurring gaki guests ever.
There’s not really much to say about this, it’s shorter than your average gaki episode and its quality (both audio / video) isn’t the best, but it’s still gaki and, I mean, there’s Itao. How can you dislike something with Itao on it?

Hope you’ll enjoy it! And stay tuned: a new full episode is going to be released sooner than you think…


episode #504, aired 2000/03/12

A Day With Mr. Freddie

・Streaming / Download on MEGA: A Day With Mr. Freddie
・Streaming on VK: A Day With Mr. Freddie

Yet another incredible episode brought to you by Kedomas, what else should I say? Quality typeset, quality QC, quality content. Thank you, man ❤
This episode reminded me of one of my first fully translated episodes, Getting Closer to Dynamite Shikoku’s True Character, which you may remember for its glorious aspect ratio (4k HD 144p).
I love episodes where one pretends to be a character with backstories and everything and it’s basically just 24 minutes of insane and awkward bullshit. This episode cracked me up, and I think I’ve watched the final scene around 100 times (and I’m not done yet).
Did you know Freddie Mercury was born in a certain small district in Tokyo? On today’s episode we’ll get to know more about his true character by following him around his city; we’ll get to know what his favorite foods are, how and where his band – Queen – was formed, and we’ll even get to know his family.
Hope you’ll be having a good time watching today’s episode!


– Hosei / Freddie is of course talking in japanese throughout the whole episode, but with a strong (fake) foreign accent to it (sometimes he even says short lines in english, like at 8:03, marked in italics). While singing, it’s 5% actual lyrics from the songs, 85% gibberish and 10% japanese (which, of course, it’s translated whenever it occurs).
– I think Matsumoto says a joke at 2:47, but I couldn’t fit it in the translation. In the flyer for the stamp rally, it says that there’s a rice prize for the winner (which is a pretty common prize for lotteries or such in Japan), and the word used for it is “shinmai” (literally “new rice”), a term which refers to the first rice crop of the year. The same word “shinmai” can also be used to refer to someone who’s a beginner / newcomer at something, and it’s widely used in the comedy world / showbiz. That’s why Matsumoto jokingly asks him “are you a comedian?”.
– 4:10 Mitake is a variety of japanese shochu (spirit distilled from sweet potatoes). Here’s an interesting article / review about it.
– 4:42 The word “sanpo” means “walk”, “stroll”, I’ve translated it when Endo reads “Freddie’s stroll” written in the poster (it’s actually fure-sanpo, where “furedii”, “Freddy” in katakana), but I’ve kept it as “sanpo” in “Jun Sanpo” (Jun’s stroll) at 4:50. Jun Sanpo is a tv mini-series featuring comedian / tv star Junji Takada (remember him from the Newspaper Agency Batsu? He played the eccentric captain and it’s probably one of my favorite moment from one of my favorite batsu game), and it’s basically a format similar to this gaki episode: walking around a city to find hidden gems / tourism spots etc.
– 16:00 Matsumoto says “you’re a rakugo artist, aren’t you?” when the other Queen member compliments Freddie’s performance because of his intonation / voiceprint, typical of rakugo narration. Hosei himself is a rakugoka (rakugo artist) as well, so he’s also implying than the other Queen’s members are probably just rakugo artists Hosei already knew before.
– 17:34 There’s “くい~ん” (kuiin) wrote on the doghouse. The word “Queen” in katakana is wrote as “kuiin” (クイーン) in japanese, but on the dog house the same word is written in hiragana, which is usually never used for foreign words / names. That’s why I’ve translated the dog name as “Quinn” instead of “Queen”.
– 20:24 Onigokko is basically the same game as tag (of course you know this), with the only difference being that the chaser pretends to be an oni, a demon from the japanese folklore. I’m not sure there are elemental onis involved in this game, it could just be something a child would come up with.

Thanks again to Kedomas for helping me out on this episode and every other episodes we’ve worked on, we have one more episode for you coming up next week, so make sure to stay tuned! Updates are always published on twitter and facebook.
Thanks for watching, have a nice day! もうええで、帰れ。


episode #1447, aired 2019/03/17

An update on Matsumoto’s book “Isho” (“Will”)

Some days ago I made a quick post on twitter about the future of the translation project for Matsumoto’s book “Isho” (“Will”), which I’ve started last year and I’ve set aside after translating 13 chapters of it. Let get this straight first: the project is not over and I’m willing (pun intended…?) to translate the whole book. But let’s also spend few words about this project and what caused its hiatus, in order.

So, why have I stopped translating it? There are few reasons for this. I’ve started translating this book when I was living in Tokyo last year, and around the time I got around chapter 13, I’ve been going through a lot of difficult situations. I had few to no time for the project and I’ve been really stressed to the point I couldn’t just focus on translating anything during my spare time (I barely posted any gaki episode translation since July 2019 throughout the end of the same year). Things eventually started to go better as I moved to Nakano, but there were other practical problems which kept me away from it. My pc died and I remember writing few chapters on my smartphone, which isn’t an experience I’d personally recommend. Then I started working for most days of the week while also studying both at the school I was enrolled in and on my own, so I could get ready for my JLPT N1 exam on December (which I have passed, yay). Long story short: few to no spare time, stressful events and no pc availability are the reasons for why I stopped translating Isho. But that’s not all.

One day someone posted a comment which made me realize what was wrong with this project (you can still read that comment on the about section). Let me say this first. I’m not mad at this person who posted this comment (aside from that euphemism part. You really think I’m that idiot?), she made a point and she’s right about what she said:

Someone needs to say this. I realize and respect that English is not your native language. But you DESPERATELY need someone to edit for you. It’s only to help you that I’m bringing this up.“.

I always receive so much positive feedback from you guys I’m overwhelmed, but as you know, as everyone knows, negative feedback (and I meant it as “it caused be a negative response at first”, not as “it was negative”) always hits you harder. I’ve thought about this a lot, and then I realized my mistakes, and that she was right and I had no reason to feel bad about this comment. I just thought that she’s right and that I have to improve so I won’t make crappy translations, no one deserves them. It’s the right criticism I needed. And yeah, while it’s true that most of my mistakes are simply caused by distraction or typos (everything here is free content, don’t forget about this; it’s not my job), sometimes it’s so clear that the main issue is that I’m not a native english speaker and – because of that – my sentences sound weird and unnatural. I bet there are countless of them in this post too lol. So, I wanted to say thanks to this person, because she made me realize it was pointless to translate a book by publishing weekly rushed chapters without editing, without quality checking, without anything but that “gotta hurry up and finish my weekly chapter” feeling. It’s not what I wanted from this project and I don’t think it’s going to give birth to anything good.

I always wanted to translate a full book (I guess I could do a better job if it’s from japanese to italian, but again, no one cares for Isho or Gaki no Tsukai or the stuff I like and enjoy here in Italy), but I don’t want the final product to be rushed and – overall – lousy. I know both english and japanese well enough to understand everything I hear or read, but I can’t say the same about written / oral production for both of them. I’m not even sure about my written / oral skills in italian (mother tongue) to be honest lol. But translation isn’t enough. Making a content available for english users to read (or better, understand) isn’t enough, it can be done better than this.

That’s why I’ve decided to pick up Isho once again and keep on translating it, in a different way from how I used to do before. New chapters aren’t going to be uploaded on a weekly basis. I, or better, we are going to release a full Isho book in the future, together.
I’m currently working on the book again, and it’s – of course – going to take me some time to complete it. The book is 50 chapters long + afterword, and I’m also going to write a preface for it. I’ll be dealing with the translation / research / notes / preface parts (basically everything revolving around writing), but it’s not going to be enough. I’ll need editors, and that’s where you can help me. Now it’s still too early to discuss about it, but later on (we’re talking about months here), once I’ll be done with the translation, I’m making another post in which you can volunteer as an editor for Isho. Once the whole book will be fully translated, edited and completed, it’s going to be posted here on this website as a free to download PDF.

Again, it’s still too early for this and it’ll be explained more clearly later on (maybe we can finally have a discord server or such? I don’t know, I’m not really into this stuff but we’ll see), but here’s who we’re going to need for this project:
– 1~5 editors: the book is composed of really short and easy to read chapters, one editor can easily go through them all at his/her own pace, but we can also split the work between more people. You’ll just have to double check what I’ve written, fix typos / misspells, correct weird sentences, grammar mistakes etc. There could be lots of strange words / sentences which are intended to be that way; we’ll discuss them together.
– 1 (or more) graphic editor: once the book is fully translated and checked, I need someone to wrap everything up in a nice, pleasant format. You’ll have to make the whole thing appear as a proper book, with spaces, page numbers, cover, index, etc etc, nice and clean. You’ll also have to add Matsumoto’s drawings to each chapter and deal with everything about the appearance of the book, from its cover to its fonts. In other words, you’re in charge to determine how everything is going to look!

Needless to say, every person willing to help me is going to be credited in the book. As I said again, this isn’t anything official yet. I’m nowhere close to be done with it and I’m not recruiting anyone yet. But, if you want to, you can let me know in a comment what do you think about this idea. If you’re interested in lending me a hand with this project when it’ll be time, keep an eye on my twitter / facebook, any update is going to be posted there (I was thinking about posting a translation progress status tweet at the end of each month).

I hope we’ll get to work together on this project and release a nice final product out of it! Thank you for reading this wall of text, expect more updates on this topic in the (kind-of-)near future!

Downtown’s SmartNews spots collection

Alright, this came out of the blue.
To put it simply, it’s just a serie of spots for a japanese mobile news app named SmartNews.
Put it’s the first Downtown CM in YEARS, and it’s so gay and so beautiful I just had to translate these. I’d kill to see the making of. Hope they’re gonna make a Gaki episode about these, they’re definitely gonna talk about them lol

NOTES: GYUUDON = BEEF BOWL // YOSHINOYA = Chain store of donburi dishes (aka bowl of rice + stuff on top).
KTHXBYE / alternate stream link

(PS: scroll down some more if you’ve missed today’s episode’s release)

Bare Handed Hell – No-chopsticks Battle

・Streaming / Download on MEGA: Bare Handed Hell – No-chopsticks Battle
・Streaming on VK: Bare Handed Hell – No-chopsticks Battle

This is a rather infamous episode brought to you by me and ya boy Kedomas, who has done so much for this website I’m at loss for words. Thank you so much!!
You may remember the 100Q Matsumoto episode in which they ask him what’s the funniest thing he has recently seen, and his answer was… something from today’s episode.
It’s so hot I’m melting, and subbing this episode made everything feel even hotter. How about we all suffer together?
On today’s episode, each of our gaki members + LICENSE + producer Nakamura are going to push their humanity to the limits by eating scorching hot freshly made straight-out-of-the-pot HOLY SHIT hellfire dishes without using anything, no chopsticks, no forks, nothing but their bare hands and a small water bowl to cool their fingers down a bit.
Sounds impossible? It kinda is, but there’s only one way to attempt this task: embracing your madness. Will they succeed?


– Couldn’t fit this information inside the subs, but anyway, the kanji on the wall appearing during each members’ challenge is “素手”, meaning “bare hands”.
– I made different choices about how to translate / feature the name of each dish in the subs. It may be confusing, so here’s a quick explanation:
・dish #1 Chuuka-don (kept as it is), it’s basically a large serving of rice covered in stir-fried chinese-style veggies.
・dish #2 Ika no sugata-yaki (“grilled squid”), grilled squid with teriyaki sauce. Simple as that.
・dish #3 Conbini naporitan – I’ve translated this one as “combini spaghetti” cause I thought it would have been easier to understand. It’s basically a type of tomato-sauce based spaghetti (in Japan known as “Napolitan”, which is not an italian recipe) sold in combinis (convenience stores) and ready to eat as soon as you warm it up in the microwave.
・dish #4 Boil-in-bag hamburg steak is a regular translation of the product. I don’t know about the rest of the world, but in Japan they’re really popular (I don’t think I ever saw any of those elsewhere).
・dish #5 Tanmen, I’ve kept it this way. It’s a type of stir-fried pork based ramen, typical of chinese cuisine.
・dish #6 Seafood paella – no problems here.
・dish #7 Kama-age udon (“boiled udon”) literally translates to straight-from-the-pot udon; it’s probably the hottest type of udon you could imagine. They’re served hot and together with a dip sauce, which you can also see here on the table.
・dish #8 UFO yakisoba – UFO is a popular brand of instant noodle / yakisoba in japan. Yakisoba – unlike cup noodles – are not served in a broth, but they still need hot water and rest to cook.
– 6:40 several horrible puns here. The japanese word for “squid” is “ika”, and the verb for “go” is “iku” or “ikimasu”, “to let someone go” would be “ikaseru” or “ikasu”, and Hamada uses this exact word to make a pun between “ikasu” and “ika”, which is why Fujiwara promptly replies “ikashite kudasai” which is both “please let me go” and “let me squid it”. An obvious series of pun which angers both Matsumoto and Hosei (can’t blame em).
– There’s also a possible (untranslated) hidden bad pun at 9:54, when Matsumoto comments “dangerous” when talking about the microwave. The word “dangerous” (in japanese pronounced as “denjarasu”) is really similar to the japanese word for “microwave” (denshi-renji), and the peculiar choice of words by Matsumoto seem to imply this bad pun.
– 13:16 If you’re accostumed to Gaki, there’s no need to explain who Mori Shinichi is. But anyway, he’s a famous japanese singer whose major feature is his very, very raspy voice which has been parodied countless times on several gaki episodes and specials.

Thanks again to Kedomas for typesetting and QC’ing this episode. He’s done so much and he’s not quite done yet: we have two new episodes ready for you, which are going to be online soon enough. Keep yourself updated on my facebook page or my twitter!
Thanks for watching, we’ll see you again soon with a new bohemian episode soon…


episode #1080, aired 2011/11/13

Animal Acting Contest (ft. Tofu Panda Fansubs)

・Streaming / Download on MEGA: Animal Acting Contest
・Streaming on VK: Animal Acting Contest

Heya guys, how is it going? Is the world outside still a disaster? Are human beings still a mess you’d rather not be involved with? Well, you might as well do as today’s contestant and throw away your humanity to embrace your inner animal.
Today’s episode is brought to you by your one and only Tofu Panda Fansubs, who both timed and typesetted the whole thing!
We started working on it one year ago, but we kind of forgot to release it. But here it is for you to enjoy!
Tanaka – our animal expert – is going to judge the performance of 6 comedians (Hosei, Endo, Iwao from Football Hour, Kotohge from Viking, Goto from Jaru Jaru and Haranishi from FUJIWARA) who have chosen a different wild animal to represent by acting in a jungle environment set. Who will be the best beast? Who’s gonna win the incredible 80$ prize? Find out on today’s bizarre episode!


– As you can see, there are lots of effects for this episode’s typeset, such as movements, zooms, boxes etc. Most of them (the good ones) were done by Otviss from Tofu Panda, but I wanted to rush this episode’s release so I worked on the rest of them, that’s why sometimes there are fade in / out instead of movements (I suck at moving subs). Also, Otviss did an excellent box system which I couldn’t keep during the encoding process. But I managed to find a way to have it work… differently. More than one way, actually. I tried different solutions but almost none of them worked after the encoding. This final version is way more polished than the others, but still inferior to TofuPanda’s excellent typesettings (for example, you can see a small japanese text coming out from behind my typeset at 16:02 or 17:35, but I honestly couldn’t withstand going through another revision just to fix that).
– The book you can see at 0:56 is “Zukai – Ikimono ga miteiru sekai” (“The world as seen by living beings”), an illustrated book about animals wrote by Tanaka himself (whoas you probably already know from several other gaki episode, has a huge passion for animals).
– 9:35 After Goto says that dirty-joke-sounding line and Matsumoto remarks it, he says it was just a coincidence (tama-tama). Here, Matsumoto remarks another dirty-joke-sounding line, giving that “tama” means “balls” in japanese. Then he says “you’re saying one after another”, which, of course, I had to translate differently.
– 12:54 Matsumoto could be refering to him, though I’m not sure about the relation between them. It’s also probably part of a recurring gag between Matsumoto and Kotohge (seen countless time in Wednesday Downtown), in which Matsumoto, upon seeing him, pretends to mistake him for someone else. Here’s an example: in which Matsumoto refers to him as a generic old man.
– 22:11 the last gag is a recurring gag from a comedy duo called Bambino (Fujita Yuuki & Ishiyama Daisuke), in which they show us how an ancient tribe used to hunt deers by hypnotizing them with a dance. The song he’s singing “danson” is made of nonsense words, and when the “nibura” comes when he’s going for the neck-grab. That’s why sometimes they say “he’s going for a nibura”, it’s basically that. You can watch here the original gag. Fun fact: there is also a theory on Wednesday Downtown in which they tried to prove whether the “danson” song and dance could actually lure a real deer or not. Here’s a clip from it.

Again, thanks to TofuPanda’s Patrick for timing the episode and to Otviss for typesetting the whole thing (which I then f**d up). Make sure to follow them on Twitter and Facebook for any news / upcoming project!
Hope you’ll have a great day, we’ll catch up soon with some new hot content I’m already working on…


episode #1283, aired 2015/12/06