Hitoshi Matsumoto’s 遺書 (“Will”) – Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – “I hold no grudge against my parents who even saw me jerking off in our cramped house”

Oh man, Summer vacations are here, after all. Of course it’s not like I’ve been disliking Summer vacations from a long time. But since I started this job, I grew to hate them so much I even remember feeling frightened of them.
I have a regular show in Osaka, so I get back to Osaka around 2 or 3 times a month.
And all those dumb families I end up dealing with during my transfers on airplanes or Shinkansen – those groups who do no good and a lot of harm, usually composed of a man wearing glasses who doesn’t seem to be able to work properly, his wife who’s surely not a beauty and doesn’t even seem to be that smart, his daughter around her first year of primary school who grew up without being spoiled by his dad and a baby who is not even 1 year old and can’t use words properly and still smells like the semen he came from – are the reason (*for why I hate Summer vacations).
First of all, I have no idea why those people are getting Green Car or First Class seats, it’s a mystery to me.
Those seats are way too big for both the baby boy and the little girl, I remember feeling a murderous impulse upon seeing them trying to sleep in those while constantly turning over and over. Also, I can’t simply understand the reason for why said little girl is wearing a wristwatch. I just can’t help but taking few glimpses at her as she keeps on checking her watch until they arrive to their destination. Also, gotta mention the storm of candies, juices and ice creams no one could ever finish eating. This makes me really think that there’s something deeply wrong with this country we call Japan, after all. And even if all this scene is supposed to be complete of everything, the baby still seem to be discontent about it, and so he starts shouting “waaah”, “gwiihh” and “nguuuuh” in a strange voice.
In response to what they’re seeing, his parents smile cheerfully. And so, my wish to take a nap during my ride to Osaka got easily and completely crushed.
Now, it’s about time to talk about what I wanted to talk about.
If you have time to come up with nonsensical non-smoking seats on airplanes or shinkansen, then use that time to create non-children seats, you pieces of shit!
Also, dear stupid married couples, just so you know, your kids aren’t cute at all! Just because you cherish them, it doesn’t mean other people have to act the same towards them! Even if their shouts are nothing out of the ordinary to your lives, their intensity feels doubled or tripled to those who never heard them before, and it’s the most unpleasant feeling ever.
Moreover, where are you taking your toddler who still doesn’t even have the ability to understand what’s going on around himself? No matter how fun your trip will be, once he’ll grow up he won’t even remember one second of it, and I’m sure it’s going to be mostly a nuisance to him.
Let me tell you, all of those who have little brats who shriek all the time are not qualified enough to travel around. If you really want to go for a trip, just leave your kids in someone’s keeping or travel by car, you soft turds!
When I was little, I was raised in a house with cracks all over its floor, I couldn’t get anything I wanted and I lived inside it without even having a private room for me until I became 20 (and because of that I often got caught while jerking off by my parents). Nevertheless, I hold no grudge against my parents, that made me want to work harder than anyone else so I could make things easier for everyone, instead.
Today’s kids get everything they want, and no one dares to scold them even when they deserve it; their parents’ best effort is to go on the outside veranda to have a cigarette instead of smoking it inside of the house. I look forward to seeing how said young boys and girls will grow up, and if they’ll be raised with a higher amount of parental love I got from mine, mwahahahah.


Parenthesis are part of the original text, except for those marked with (*), which I added myself (to make it easier to read / understand).


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